Batteries Not Included
by Lady of the Phoenix
Summary: How Cait Sith became the feline he is today. M for adult situations. RenoReeve implied


Author's Notes: I was on my way back from Columbus, trying to work my magic, when I found myself in ready to continue my fics until I catch up with my updates… Then I just stated writing randomly. This is what 1 hour and 30 minutes can do to me, especially when around friends who love FF7 and just out of building that was TOTALLY giving off the Shin-Ra HQ vibe. PLEASE review.

Batteries Not Included: A Tale of Cait Sith's Creation

You know, I haven't always 'cut the dashing figure' I do now, as Reeve would say. Honest! Once I was a regular 'plain Jane', another one of Reeve's sayings. Once I was just a plain old hobby for y father, something to distract him. You see, Reeve was married once, to a really nice lady. And he had these twins too, a girl and a boy. But the woman, her name was Caitia, she got in this car accident, and was dead before the paramedics arrived. A month later there was an incident while the twins were coming home from school. They were attacked by some monster Hojo had released after he had finished testing on it. Reeve told me later that Ryan had died protecting Renee, his sister, but that the valiant deed had not saved wither of them.

Reeve spiraled into depression, Reno told me so. The President gave him time off, but Reeve couldn't stay still. The Turks, close friends of my father, tried to cheer him up. Not long after they started, Tseng and Rude gave up, but Reno was persistent. He brought Reeve some electronic gizmos he had, thinking that would make him happy. Then suddenly, Reeve shut him out, rarely leaving his house. Apparently Reno was very worried, because he eventually broke in. I was barely more than a mass of wires, chips, sensors and a simple skeleton. Yet I was aware then, or at least, my sensors were active and my memory banks stored it all.

After that day, Reno came by a lot, helping Reeve wire things or woke on the AI systems. Finally I was finished, but I didn't have my mog, or crown, or boots or even my cape. Just my furry self, 'O'natural'. To celebrate my completion, the two went out to dinner. I don't know what happened there, but I do know that when they came back, they were drunk. I hadn't understood at the time of course, such conditions never occurring to me. Then they went to Reeve's room, and I didn't see them until the next morning.

Reno had a coffee cup in front of him when I came out of standby, and poured some liquor in. I understood drinking now, having uploaded my databanks to the internet to figure out why they had been acting so weird the previous night. Reno had a frown on his face when Reeve entered the kitchen. The younger male was leaning up against the counter, waiting for Reeve to say something.

"I'm sorry," Reno finally said, "I should have realized…"

"Please Reno, don't apologize. I know you Turks hate too."

"Not in this case," Reno countered.

"Reno… Just go, okay?" Reeve hissed.

"But… God, it's been a year Reeve! If you don't let her go now, you never will."

"Just leave Reno… Don't come back."

"Fine. I won't!" the Turk yelled and stormed out, leaving his coffee behind. When the door slammed shut, rather loudly might I add, Reeve began to sob. I thought it was weird at the time, wondering why Reeve didn't immediately try to fix the leak. I reached up with a paw to wipe a tear from his cheek. Father looked at me in shock. Neither he nor Reno had noticed me sneak into the kitchen.

"You're…" he began

"You are leaking. You should fix it," I said manner-of-factually.

He smiled and hugged me. "I would if I could Cait."

"Cait?" I asked.

"That is your name. I'm Reeve."

"I know. And he was Reno. Why did he leave? Is he coming back?"

An edge of pain reached Reeve's voice, "I don't know Cait Sith. I don't know."

For another year I was plain old Cait Sith, no moogle, no crown, no boots, and no cape. Reeve taught me a lot, got me used to the times he'd control me manually, and forbid me from entering only four rooms. You know that saying, curiosity killed the cat? Well…

One day, someone started pounding on the door. I went to answer it for Reeve, because he was in the shower. At the door were Reno, and two men I'd never laid sensors on before. The tall bald one looked at me, he was a really scary looking guy. You could put three Cait Siths on top of each other and you wouldn't be able to touch the top of his head. The other guy had dark hair and looked surprised to see me. Reno grabbed me up in a hug.

"Yo Cait! How are you?"

"Reno!" I cheered and hugged his neck. The Turk chuckled and placed me on his shoulder.

"Where is Reeve?" Reno questioned.

"In the shower. Why are you here Reno?" I asked.

"To see you and Reeve of course," he replied, as if offended by the question.

"I thought you weren't coming back…"

"So did I…" Reeve's voice came from the dining room doorway. Reno froze, staring at Reeve, who was soaked and only in a towel. My friend's jaw almost dropped, and Reeve was blushing from the intense staring. The day was saved by Rude, who cleared his throat.

"Uh, well, we wanted to give you and Cait you're your birthday gifts," Reno mumbled.

I had learned of birthdays by then, "I get a gift!"

"Yes," Tseng said, "It's out in the car. Rude…"

The stoic man nodded and left the house, returning a few minutes later with two big boxes. Reeve had, by that time, dressed and Tseng was making coffee. Reno and I were playing chess, and I was winning.

"Damn AI outsmarting its creators," he grumbled.

Gifts were soon opened. There was a new computer for Reeve, and the large white moogle that became something I was never separated from. Reno proudly announced that he had made it himself, and once he synchronized our processors, it would be like another part of my body, just as my tail was. Tseng and Rude left early, but Reno stayed to put me in upload state with the robot moogle. When I 'awoke' at the end of the upload, I climbed onto the mog and inspected it. I had another set of nice long hands now, and I decided it was time to check out the forbidden rooms.

The first one seemed to be a boy's room. There were pictures of a kid in a baseball uniform. Nothing was really of interest in the room, but I did find a pair of red rain boots, Cait size, and put them on. I looked good! Off I bounced to the next forbidden place. This one was painted pick. Too girly! I took a crown off of a doll, put it at an angle on my head and continued. The next one was full of flowers and beautiful handmade dresses. There was a piece of red satin that matched my boots and I made a cape of it.

When I came to the final room, all was quiet. This was where Reeve disappeared to every night after I went into standby mode. I opened the door. I'm not sure, even now, who was more shocked. I saw clothes scattered everywhere, and my creators naked on the bed, looking like they were wrestling. At the time I knew NOTHING of 'the birds and the bees', but I soon found out. First Reeve shoved Reno off of him in shock, and then he looked in my direction. Reno was half-way between mortified and amused, so he burst out in laughter. Reeve took in how I looked, and if looks could kill, I'd be 'deader than a Chocobo at Chocobo Bill's BBQ Wings at lunch rush' (Reeve's line again).

"Calm down," Reno said, touching Reeve's shoulder. "He doesn't know any better."

"He should."

Well, needless to say, I got a lecture the next day, and two 'explanations'. First Reeve yelled at me for going where I wasn't allowed, and for stealing. Then, when he left to 'cool down', Reno told me about Reeve's family. How I had taken and put on his son's boots, his daughter's baby-doll crown, and a cloth from his wife's workshop. Then I had the sex talk, from both Reno and Reeve, who both felt awkward explaining it, or their feelings, to a robot. I think I took it well… I even ended up downloading a lot online information and telling them about different methods to heighten pleasure. I was happy to help my makers, proud that they were in love, and amused by all the shades of red they would turn. Finally, to shut me up (so he still says) Reeve gave me the three things I found…

And that's how I got to be this handsome Cait Sith I am.


End file.
